Where do you stand?

[atlkvb]

Hope your kids are conservative. Teach em at home cause you know what they are hearing at school.

Just curious, any athletes in the family? It’s also good for those kids to have a mom and dad. Too many don’t these days. Have heard stats on divorce rates and single parents are both too high.

They're all older now (youngest of 7 is 22, oldest is 37) and of course as millennials they have their own views on Right vs Left. I'd say they're Christian first, probably more Libertarian than Conservative. Definitely NOT radical Left.

They think both parties are corrupt and simply fight over a pile of money and who gets to spend it? If pressed to a vote, they'd certainly vote Republican, (primarily because of their Pro Life views) but they are disappointed Trump has not tamed the deficit monster or reformed entitlements. I agree with them!

I also agree it was better for them to have the advantage of both me and my Wife's direction in their lives. While she's more philosophical than me, I always pointed them to the responsibility of their own actions and the consequences of each and every decision they make to either honor Almighty God or follow some other authority in their lives. Since we (my Wife and I) are both believers that difference in emphasis I surmise benefited them.

All of them attended private schools (two were home schooled) Two Sons played competitive H.S. sports but didn't pursue College competition. One of my daughters was a track star at a local county athletic club. Two of 7 are married with children (both Girls) none of the 3 Boys are married, although the oldest did marry and a few years later that was annulled. (It's a long story, but no kids were involved)

 

[CAJUNEER]

Divorce rates are decreasing, but don’t let facts get in the way of a good rant. I know it’s popular to say divorce rates are increasing to prove that we need to MAGA and religion is the answer, but the facts aren’t in your favor. https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/#

That’s because cohabitation has increased dramatically as has single parent homes. But don’t let the facts get in your way.

 

[NYC_Eer]

That’s because cohabitation has increased dramatically as has single parent homes. But don’t let the facts get in your way.

And that isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t say it because it goes without saying. It’s obvious.

It also doesn’t change the fact that divorce rates aren’t in fact increasing, which was the point of my post.

 

[atlkvb]

Maybe I'm biased here, I just happen to believe what's best for kids is being raised in a two parent household (the same two who brought them into the world) in a lasting, loving, mutually compatible environment with some reasonable guidelines about personal responsibility, respect for authority, social discipline, and common decency in the form of moral absolutes. (ie: no lying, cheating, stealing, destruction of someone else's property etc)

How those objectives are achieved is of course open to options, however I remain convinced that children who are raised within that social framework are better off and end up as better self sustaining citizens.

 

[spartansstink]

I haven't looked in a while but I hope that divorce numbers are going down. Whatever they are, they're still too high in my opinion. Don't care so much if no children are involved, hey you tried it and it just didn't work out. Let's move on...

But with children its a different story.

I know single parents do the best they can. But, I look at it like a glass half empty. Your first teachers are your parents. Its where you learn the roles each gender plays, not just in a relationship but also in dealing with the world. Most importantly, its where you're taught your first lesson about love. Some may say the love of a child is unconditional, but is it? Love of your spouse is supposed to be unconditional, too. So, if Daddy's gone because Daddy screwed up, will I be gone, too?

With two parents, you get a full measure of love. With two parents, you learn how both a man and a woman are supposed to behave. You have both a protector and a nurturer.

Without one or the other, the single parent has to work extra. The kid gets put in a day care for a stranger to raise and/or later a television or computer screen for people you probably wouldn't allow in your front door to babysit your child.

The child's likely going to spiral out of control at some point. Is it any wonder why?

 

[atlkvb]

I haven't looked in a while but I hope that divorce numbers are going down. Whatever they are, they're still too high in my opinion. Don't care so much if no children are involved, hey you tried it and it just didn't work out. Let's move on...

But with children its a different story.

I know single parents do the best they can. But, I look at it like a glass half empty. Your first teachers are your parents. Its where you learn the roles each gender plays, not just in a relationship but also in dealing with the world. Most importantly, its where you're taught your first lesson about love. Some may say the love of a child is unconditional, but is it? Love of your spouse is supposed to be unconditional, too. So, if Daddy's gone because Daddy screwed up, will I be gone, too?

With two parents, you get a full measure of love. With two parents, you learn how both a man and a woman are supposed to behave. You have both a protector and a nurturer.

Without one or the other, the single parent has to work extra. The kid gets put in a day care for a stranger to raise and/or later a television or computer screen for people you probably wouldn't allow in your front door to babysit your child.

The child's likely going to spiral out of control at some point. Is it any wonder why?

Very well stated.

 

[spartansstink]

Thank you.

This is particularly important in the black community, where roughly 80% of the children are born illegitimately.

The mom, typically, becomes the single parent because the male bails. Young black males have no male to model themselves after. They aren't taught by a father how to value women so the girl has no value to them. They're just a piece of tail to be had and left like last week's garbage. The cycle just continues. The girl, with no male role model, doesn't see herself as valuable either. They see Mom repeating the cycle and view the male as something to be owned, at least temporarily. Then, the cycle continues for them, too.

I see this same mentality here in white Appalachia. That's why I believe this is a cultural issue rather than a racial one. Until the culture and mentality changes, we're never going to get out of the cycle of bad behavior that just leads to worse behavior and an overpopulated prison system.

 

[WVU82]

 

[NYC_Eer]

I haven't looked in a while but I hope that divorce numbers are going down. Whatever they are, they're still too high in my opinion. Don't care so much if no children are involved, hey you tried it and it just didn't work out. Let's move on...

But with children its a different story.

I know single parents do the best they can. But, I look at it like a glass half empty. Your first teachers are your parents. Its where you learn the roles each gender plays, not just in a relationship but also in dealing with the world. Most importantly, its where you're taught your first lesson about love. Some may say the love of a child is unconditional, but is it? Love of your spouse is supposed to be unconditional, too. So, if Daddy's gone because Daddy screwed up, will I be gone, too?

With two parents, you get a full measure of love. With two parents, you learn how both a man and a woman are supposed to behave. You have both a protector and a nurturer.

Without one or the other, the single parent has to work extra. The kid gets put in a day care for a stranger to raise and/or later a television or computer screen for people you probably wouldn't allow in your front door to babysit your child.

The child's likely going to spiral out of control at some point. Is it any wonder why?

I think that is also obvious. 2 parents are better than 1. And yes, divorce rates are decreasing. A big reason is that younger kids wait longer now than they did before. They don’t rush into things. They know themselves better when they do get married. They are better off financially, etc.

 

[CAJUNEER]

And that isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t say it because it goes without saying. It’s obvious.

It also doesn’t change the fact that divorce rates aren’t in fact increasing, which was the point of my post.

Single parent homes are a good thing? Being a child of a single parent is the greatest predictor of poverty and incarceration.

 

[moe]

Just take a look at the left on this board, they will condemn this country for practice that ended 160 years ago but could care less about HUMAN BEINGS being hung like fish on a stringer and sold on the open market today

Let's call you a troll and leave it at that.

 

[NYC_Eer]

Single parent homes are a good thing? Being a child of a single parent is the greatest predictor of poverty and incarceration.

It isn’t necessarily bad. It’s often better than being in a home where 2 parents should divorce due to constant fighting and/or domestic violence. But that wasn’t what I meant. I meant that cohabitation isn’t bad. Younger people are waiting longer to get married, which from what I’ve seen is a much bigger determining factor in the falling divorce rates.

 

[atlkvb]

It isn’t necessarily bad. It’s often better than being in a home where 2 parents should divorce due to constant fighting and/or domestic violence. But that wasn’t what I meant. I meant that cohabitation isn’t bad. Younger people are waiting longer to get married, which from what I’ve seen is a much bigger determining factor in the falling divorce rates.

A two Parent household with a Loving lasting loyal commitment between a Man and a Woman in a monogamous stable union with both dedicated to the moral and responsible rearing of their offspring is best. There of course can be other workable options but that is still the best option.

It simply is not arguable that any other arrangement is superior. Granted that ideal is less common today than even 20 years ago and harder to sustain in today's promiscuous culture, but it is not outdated and remains what is best for both the child and society.

 

[CAJUNEER]

It isn’t necessarily bad. It’s often better than being in a home where 2 parents should divorce due to constant fighting and/or domestic violence. But that wasn’t what I meant. I meant that cohabitation isn’t bad. Younger people are waiting longer to get married, which from what I’ve seen is a much bigger determining factor in the falling divorce rates.

That’s patently false. The divorce rate between couples who cohabitate first is nearly twice as high as the divorce rate among those who did not first cohabitate.

 

[atlkvb]

Let's call you a troll and leave it at that.

See, that is exactly how it is done on the Left. Can't argue the horror of the practice (harvesting of human baby body parts), can't even defend it or deny it happens. Rather than oppose it or speak out strongly against it, just call a name, then dismiss the entire argument while doing nothing about it.

Brilliant.

 

[atlkvb]

Let's call you a troll and leave it at that.

Why is he a "troll" moe? What is wrong with his position opposing this heinous activity? If you don't support it, why are you calling him a "troll"? If you do support it, what is your defense of it?

Let the silence begin.

I'm not going to answer you atl, not ready to be dissected as a Vampire.

 

[atlkvb]

You, your wife and family sound boring AF.

Imagine an entire nation as boring as we are? You wouldn't see high rates of divorce, innocent unborn babies being slaughtered by their Moms, chopped up and their body parts sold like salami in a delicatessen, you wouldn't even see kids roaming the streets smashing windows, burning buildings, shooting at cops, or killing innocent bystanders. How boring life would indeed be?

Creep.

 

[NYC_Eer]

That’s patently false. The divorce rate between couples who cohabitate first is nearly twice as high as the divorce rate among those who did not first cohabitate.

I raise your patently false w/ a that is absolutely false. You religious agenda is biasing your opinion. I guess it all depends on what study you look at, how they measure it, or through what lense you are viewing it.

From Countercultural Trend to Strategy for the Financially Insecure: Premarital Cohabitation and Premarital Cohabitors, 1956-2015

https://contemporaryfamilies.org/premaritalcohabitation/

 

[CAJUNEER]

I raise your patently false w/ a that is absolutely false. You religious agenda is biasing your opinion.

Wrong again.

Premarital cohabitation has short‐term benefits and longer term costs for marital stability.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12530?af=R

 

[atlkvb]

I raise your patently false w/ a that is absolutely false. You religious agenda is biasing your opinion. I guess it all depends on what study you look at, how they measure it, or through what lense you are viewing it.

From Countercultural Trend to Strategy for the Financially Insecure: Premarital Cohabitation and Premarital Cohabitors, 1956-2015

https://contemporaryfamilies.org/premaritalcohabitation/

Your anti-religious bigotry isn't coloring yours? You said me and my Wife who have been Married for 38 years and raised 7 God fearing children are "boring". Got a link for a better alternative to our results?

 

[WVUALLEN]

I raise your patently false w/ a that is absolutely false. You religious agenda is biasing your opinion.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/...-step-toward-marriage-not-a-rebellion/284512/

On average, researchers concluded that couples who lived together before they tied the knot saw a 33 percent higher rate of divorce than those who waited to live together until after they were married. Part of the problem was that cohabitors, studies suggested, “slid into” marriage without much consideration.

The Science of Cohabitation: A Step Toward Marriage, Not a Rebellion

New research shows that the older people are when they make their first big commitment—cohabitation or marriage—the better their chances for marital success.

Arielle Kuperberg was a graduate student at the University of Pennsylvania when something in her sociology textbooks caught her eye. In research on marriage longevity, Kuperberg observed that the age a couple said “I do” was among the strongest predictors of divorce.

All of the literature explained that the reason people who married younger were more likely to divorce was because they were not mature enough to pick appropriate partners, she says.

That’s when a lightbulb went off for Kuperberg. If younger married couples were more likely to divorce, did that mean that couples who moved in together at earlier ages were also at increased risk for broken marriages?

Kuperberg found that individuals who committed to cohabitation or marriage at the age of 18 saw a 60 percent rate of divorce. Whereas individuals who waited until 23 to commit saw a divorce rate that hovered more around 30 percent.

“Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages—and more likely to divorce—than couples who do not,” she wrote.

Others blamed the types of individuals who were moving in together as the reasons so many of those unions resulted in divorce.

The latest research should give older couples a sense of relief. The science is beginning to show that peeking behind the curtain before choosing to settle into a lifetime of marriage isn’t in and of itself a mistake, but there are still risk factors. It might be important today for all of us to know whether our partner handles the dirty dishes, but cohabitation can still be a mess for those who don’t proceed with caution.

 

[30CAT]

me and Wife who have been Married for 38 years and raised 7 God fearing children

That's amazing! God blessed you for sure.

 

[atlkvb]

Hey @NYC_Eer , when you find the better alternative for raising a Family than a monogamous God fearing Marriage between a Man and a Woman please post the link. America could benefit from your dutiful research.

 

[CAJUNEER]

I raise your patently false w/ a that is absolutely false. You religious agenda is biasing your opinion. I guess it all depends on what study you look at, how they measure it, or through what lense you are viewing it.

From Countercultural Trend to Strategy for the Financially Insecure: Premarital Cohabitation and Premarital Cohabitors, 1956-2015

https://contemporaryfamilies.org/premaritalcohabitation/

You should note that before you edited your post to add this link, I had already link the study that totally destroyed the method of the study you site.

 

[atlkvb]

That's amazing! God blessed you for sure.

Yes he has. We give thanks to him each day for his Providence and Wisdom in our lives. It is returned through our Children, who also Praise, Thank and honor him for his amazing Grace.

@NYC_Eer either hates Almighty God, or he is jealous. Either way, it's not my problem, it's his. I will Pray for same for him though.

 

[atlkvb]

Just breifly, I'm posting this pic of my crew in my avtar in case anyone out there doesn't believe I have 7 kids. It's not the most recent photo, or even a very good one because my camera on this Android phone sucks...but it's there. I'm taking it down after today too btw!
Names are Greg, Tamerin (two oldest up front) Diandra, Brianna, KJ, Corinne and Caleb (Youngest Boy)

 

[BigLickMountee]

You should note that before you edited your post to add this link, I had already link the study that totally destroyed the method of the study you site.

when I was in college, coming up on 40 years ago, even then in my family studies classes, co-habitation then was a risk factor for divorce. I lived with a women then and the relationship soured (after see confessed to balling a psych resident). She later divorced......I didn't.

 

[atlkvb]

You should note that before you edited your post to add this link, I had already link the study that totally destroyed the method of the study you site.

Busted. You won't get a factual rebuttal to the information you posted either.

 

[Snow Sled Baby]

They're all older now (youngest of 7 is 22, oldest is 37) and of course as millennials they have their own views on Right vs Left. I'd say they're Christian first, probably more Libertarian than Conservative. Definitely NOT radical Left.

They think both parties are corrupt and simply fight over a pile of money and who gets to spend it? If pressed to a vote, they'd certainly vote Republican, (primarily because of their Pro Life views) but they are disappointed Trump has not tamed the deficit monster or reformed entitlements. I agree with them!

I also agree it was better for them to have the advantage of both me and my Wife's direction in their lives. While she's more philosophical than me, I always pointed them to the responsibility of their own actions and the consequences of each and every decision they make to either honor Almighty God or follow some other authority in their lives. Since we (my Wife and I) are both believers that difference in emphasis I surmise benefited them.

All of them attended private schools (two were home schooled) Two Sons played competitive H.S. sports but didn't pursue College competition. One of my daughters was a track star at a local county athletic club. Two of 7 are married with children (both Girls) none of the 3 Boys are married, although the oldest did marry and a few years later that was annulled. (It's a long story, but no kids were involved)

7 kids?????.......how did you make time to sell ANYTHING?......

 

[Snow Sled Baby]

Let's call you a troll and leave it at that.

lets' call YOU a mindless sheeple and DEFINITELY leave it at that.....atl is so much smarter than you it;s pathetic........BBBBBAAAAHHHHh

 

[atlkvb]

7 kids?????.......how did you make time to sell ANYTHING?......

I haven't always sold cars my friend. I've posted on here previously what I did for over 20 years before I got into the car business. I hate to admit it, but I was part of the media disinformation campaign now plaguing the country (I worked in broadcast news as an Anchor/Reporter) but watching them today and how irresponsibly they operate, you know why I stopped doing it!

 

[BigLickMountee]

7 kids?????.......how did you make time to sell ANYTHING?......

obviously he sells himself. can't hide talent.

 

[Snow Sled Baby]

I haven't always sold cars my friend. I've posted on here previously what I did for over 20 years before I got into the car business. I hate to admit it, but I was part of the media disinformation campaign now plaguing the country (I worked in broadcast news as an Anchor/Reporter) but watching them today and how irresponsibly they operate, you know why I stopped doing it!

I just KNEW there was a liberal in you struggling to get out..........keep on keeping on......make the bastards squirm

 

[CAJUNEER]

when I was in college, coming up on 40 years ago, even then in my family studies classes, co-habitation then was a risk factor for divorce. I lived with a women then and the relationship soured (after see confessed to balling a psych resident). She later divorced......I didn't.

A reason for most of these divorces is pretty simple. Only one of the two really wants to get married. The other one doesn't want to lose their partner so they marry. Both come into the marriage resentful. The one who want to get married is resentful because he or she had to drag the other one into it. The one who did not want to get married is resentful because he or she feels forced into the marriage. Because they lived together first we know they do not view sex as something that should be sacred within a marriage. Resentfulness of the marriage, they seek fulfillment outside the marriage.

 

[atlkvb]

Thank you.

This is particularly important in the black community, where roughly 80% of the children are born illegitimately.

The mom, typically, becomes the single parent because the male bails. Young black males have no male to model themselves after. They aren't taught by a father how to value women so the girl has no value to them. They're just a piece of tail to be had and left like last week's garbage. The cycle just continues. The girl, with no male role model, doesn't see herself as valuable either. They see Mom repeating the cycle and view the male as something to be owned, at least temporarily. Then, the cycle continues for them, too.

I see this same mentality here in white Appalachia. That's why I believe this is a cultural issue rather than a racial one. Until the culture and mentality changes, we're never going to get out of the cycle of bad behavior that just leads to worse behavior and an overpopulated prison system.

Leftists don't discuss this. Their failed Social welfare programs are the primary reason so many Black males do not stay and raise the kids they Father. Social justice warriors convince Black women the males are not needed as long as Welfare is there as a substitute. The violent young Black males you see defying police, and shooting at each other in drug turf wars is the end result of that failed policy. They have no Dads to teach them what it means to be a responsible Male.

@NYC_Eer thinks it's a better way than bringing Almighty God into the picture...that's just so "boring" don't 'ya know?

 

[NYC_Eer]

You should note that before you edited your post to add this link, I had already link the study that totally destroyed the method of the study you site.

I wanted to add a link to show it wasn’t an opinion. This isn’t the only study out there. You’ll link yours. I’ll link mine and nothing will be decided. So, there’s no use. You are religious and have a stated purpose, and will find what you want to support your religious viewpoint.

 

[atlkvb]

I wanted to add a link to show it wasn’t an opinion. This isn’t the only study out there. You’ll link yours. I’ll link mine and nothing will be decided. So, there’s no use. You are religious and have a stated purpose, and will find what you want to support your religious viewpoint.

And you Sir are a Religious bigot and will find any alternative besides placing Almighty God in control of our Families. I'm not saying folks who believe in God don't divorce because that's not true, but we are discussing what works best...and in my opinion a monogamous, committed, God fearing Marriage is what's best for children.

 

[BigLickMountee]

I wanted to add a link to show it wasn’t an opinion. This isn’t the only study out there. You’ll link yours. I’ll link mine and nothing will be decided. So, there’s no use. You are religious and have a stated purpose, and will find what you want to support your religious viewpoint.

a religious view point does not inherently immune the response from a reasonable viewpoint. I'd caution against any interpretation of his comments as a religious viewpoint. He's actually quite bright and brings more reason than religion.

 

[atlkvb]

a religious view point does not inherently immune the response from a reasonable viewpoint. I'd caution against any interpretation of his comments as a religious viewpoint. He's actually quite bright and brings more reason than religion.

One goes up against @CAJUNEER at their own peril. @NYC_Eer is quite illiterate and equally uninformed so he deserves the ass whipping about to come his way for being such a lemming.

 

[CAJUNEER]

I wanted to add a link to show it wasn’t an opinion. This isn’t the only study out there. You’ll link yours. I’ll link mine and nothing will be decided. So, there’s no use. You are religious and have a stated purpose, and will find what you want to support your religious viewpoint.

No, that's not how I work. You're projecting. I don't look at competing studies and pick the one I like. I look at the methods and listen to the experts. The method of the study you cited is agenda driven. That's why it is rejected.