Its still November; but it looks like the guys in the smoke-filled room are looking at the possibility of having you over to sit at The Big Table and play in a New Years Six game.
How nice.
Of course, If TCU hogs that ass next week.. ( and I expect they will ).. then all bets are off and we'll see ya mid-day Tuesday afternoon around Christmas.
Even if you are invited to play in a New Years Six game it looks like your dinner date will be Kentucky....I guess that a couple of backfill teams from the SEC and Big 12 will get the smug nod and play in a game on New Years...BUT NOT THE NATIONAL TITLE PLAYOFF.
Let that sink in, hotshit Ear People. NO MATTER HOW YOU DO, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN THE SEMI-FINALS.....NO COTTON OR ORANGE BOWL IN 2018/19 FOR YOU......
So, while you are new at this and you "might" get invited to eat at the "Big Table" remember these things:
1) You are not there to compete. You are not playing for the National Title; and no one anywhere will give a shit about anything else this year....Quick question WITHOUT Google : Who won the Outback Bowl in 2016 ?? ANSWER : NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.
2) Refer to first sentence of #1. With this in mind, you and Kentucky will be expected to keep your mouths shut while at the table, listen to Clemson and Alabama talk without interrupting, wait until Notre Dame and Michigan have been served, and pass the pecan pie to Georgia when they ask...
3) Please leave the camo at home. Beards should be neatly trimmed. No painted naked bellies, no sock penises. Leave the Oxy pills at home. Please shower and wear clean underwear before entering the stadium. Act like you have done this before, The entire country is watching.....DON'T BE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE STATE OF WV.
4) Remember to use the restroom facilities. Please do not defecate in the other teams band section at halftime. Please do not piss on the field should you win.
5) Throwing full cans of beer at other people is a serious felony....so is pulling pregnant women out of cars and bashing their husband's head in with a brick. I know that many of your criminal fanbase don't give a shit ( hell, whats the problem with another felony...right ? ).
6) Keep Alcoholgerson sober, if you can....if he shows up with a monster New Years Day Hangover then you will get your asses kicked for sure...what a bad day to have to depend on an alcoholic being sober !
Anyhow, these are things to consider should you get lucky enough to get the backhanded compliment of being asked to play in one of "The Other" New Years Day games....the games that won't end in a Championship and nobody will remember who won six months from now.
Signed,
Reality.
p.s. You Ear People better hope to GOD that they don't pair you with UCF. Youse people will prolly get your asses kicked so bad that UCF will take your place in the Big 12 next year...
How nice.
Of course, If TCU hogs that ass next week.. ( and I expect they will ).. then all bets are off and we'll see ya mid-day Tuesday afternoon around Christmas.
Even if you are invited to play in a New Years Six game it looks like your dinner date will be Kentucky....I guess that a couple of backfill teams from the SEC and Big 12 will get the smug nod and play in a game on New Years...BUT NOT THE NATIONAL TITLE PLAYOFF.
Let that sink in, hotshit Ear People. NO MATTER HOW YOU DO, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN THE SEMI-FINALS.....NO COTTON OR ORANGE BOWL IN 2018/19 FOR YOU......
So, while you are new at this and you "might" get invited to eat at the "Big Table" remember these things:
1) You are not there to compete. You are not playing for the National Title; and no one anywhere will give a shit about anything else this year....Quick question WITHOUT Google : Who won the Outback Bowl in 2016 ?? ANSWER : NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.
2) Refer to first sentence of #1. With this in mind, you and Kentucky will be expected to keep your mouths shut while at the table, listen to Clemson and Alabama talk without interrupting, wait until Notre Dame and Michigan have been served, and pass the pecan pie to Georgia when they ask...
3) Please leave the camo at home. Beards should be neatly trimmed. No painted naked bellies, no sock penises. Leave the Oxy pills at home. Please shower and wear clean underwear before entering the stadium. Act like you have done this before, The entire country is watching.....DON'T BE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE STATE OF WV.
4) Remember to use the restroom facilities. Please do not defecate in the other teams band section at halftime. Please do not piss on the field should you win.
5) Throwing full cans of beer at other people is a serious felony....so is pulling pregnant women out of cars and bashing their husband's head in with a brick. I know that many of your criminal fanbase don't give a shit ( hell, whats the problem with another felony...right ? ).
6) Keep Alcoholgerson sober, if you can....if he shows up with a monster New Years Day Hangover then you will get your asses kicked for sure...what a bad day to have to depend on an alcoholic being sober !
Anyhow, these are things to consider should you get lucky enough to get the backhanded compliment of being asked to play in one of "The Other" New Years Day games....the games that won't end in a Championship and nobody will remember who won six months from now.
Signed,
Reality.
p.s. You Ear People better hope to GOD that they don't pair you with UCF. Youse people will prolly get your asses kicked so bad that UCF will take your place in the Big 12 next year...
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