Hope these don't offend anyone. With hurricanes and other sad news maybe we can churckle alittle

[Woodie]

ARE YA READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?????!!!!!!!

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

___________________________________________


Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?


So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________


What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?


Drool.
___________________________________________


How many Georgia Tech freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?


None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________


How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?


The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________


Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.


One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."


The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________


A University of Mississippi football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.


He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.


Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

___________________________________________


What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "


"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________


If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?


The police officer.
___________________________________________


How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?


There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________


What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?


A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________


University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________


How is the South Carolina football team like an opossum?


They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________


Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?


He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________


How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?


Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________


What are the longest three years of a University of Florida football player’s life?


Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

 

[SeronimusPratt]

Those were good. Although the Georgia Tech one needs changed lol. Everyone knows you are smart to go there.

 

[WVUALLEN]

 

[MichiganHerd]

I remember laughing at all those jokes...back in 1971.

 

[WVUALLEN]

Huggs-ims

Now that WVU has won two straight games and is in sole possession of second place in the Big 12, Huggins is worried some people may hurt themselves trying to get back on the Mountaineer bandwagon.

______________________________________________________

To Jamie Smalligan - "You haven't hit a three since Moby Dick was a minnow."

"If Devin would have thrown two more balls into the stands he would have had a triple double."

"I told them if they got a rebound, they might like it, and want to get another one!"

Reporter at Pitt game: "Coach, what are your goals for the second half?"
Huggy: "Score more points than they do."

Following a Providence game - "I think they’re not used to me coming in (at halftime) and talking to them in a real calm voice...maybe."

HUGGS on ESPN with Doug Gottlieb: When Gottlieb asked him the difference between KSU and WVU..he said it is refreshing to have guys at WVU that can shoot….. unlike you ......

After spending several hours in a Charlotte, N.C., hospital after falling while exiting a private airplane - "Billy pushed me," Huggins said, referring to WVU assistant coach Billy Hahn. "He did the same thing to Gary [Williams] at Maryland. The guy has a history of this."

"It's Andy Katz, man," Huggins said. "It's not like it's someone who knows what they're talking about."

About the development of John Flowers' game -
"He knows what he’s doing. We’re going down the floor and Mazzulla yells at me, ‘How do you want to guard those staggers?’ You know, when we’re playing point-drop. And then Flowers yells at me and says, ‘Are we switching staggers?’ You know, to him, four years ago, a stagger, that was a bar downtown."

Huggins. "I always joked that a blind and deaf girl could out rebound Smalligan. I guess now we're going to find out."

Jamie Smalligan couldn't jump over a quarter.

 

[Cuyahoga Falls Eers]

ARE YA READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?????!!!!!!!

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

___________________________________________


Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?


So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________


What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?


Drool.
___________________________________________


How many Georgia Tech freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?


None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________


How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?


The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________


Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.


One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."


The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________


A University of Mississippi football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.


He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.


Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

___________________________________________


What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "


"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________


If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?


The police officer.
___________________________________________


How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?


There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________


What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?


A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________


University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________


How is the South Carolina football team like an opossum?


They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________


Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?


He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________


How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?


Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________


What are the longest three years of a University of Florida football player’s life?


Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

THANKS FOR THE GOOD LAUGHS. WITH WVU HURRICANED OUT, IT HELPED WITH THE BOREDOM.

 

[Thumper]

Huggs-ims

Now that WVU has won two straight games and is in sole possession of second place in the Big 12, Huggins is worried some people may hurt themselves trying to get back on the Mountaineer bandwagon.

______________________________________________________

To Jamie Smalligan - "You haven't hit a three since Moby Dick was a minnow."

"If Devin would have thrown two more balls into the stands he would have had a triple double."

"I told them if they got a rebound, they might like it, and want to get another one!"

Reporter at Pitt game: "Coach, what are your goals for the second half?"
Huggy: "Score more points than they do."

Following a Providence game - "I think they’re not used to me coming in (at halftime) and talking to them in a real calm voice...maybe."

HUGGS on ESPN with Doug Gottlieb: When Gottlieb asked him the difference between KSU and WVU..he said it is refreshing to have guys at WVU that can shoot….. unlike you ......

After spending several hours in a Charlotte, N.C., hospital after falling while exiting a private airplane - "Billy pushed me," Huggins said, referring to WVU assistant coach Billy Hahn. "He did the same thing to Gary [Williams] at Maryland. The guy has a history of this."

"It's Andy Katz, man," Huggins said. "It's not like it's someone who knows what they're talking about."

About the development of John Flowers' game -
"He knows what he’s doing. We’re going down the floor and Mazzulla yells at me, ‘How do you want to guard those staggers?’ You know, when we’re playing point-drop. And then Flowers yells at me and says, ‘Are we switching staggers?’ You know, to him, four years ago, a stagger, that was a bar downtown."

Huggins. "I always joked that a blind and deaf girl could out rebound Smalligan. I guess now we're going to find out."

Jamie Smalligan couldn't jump over a quarter.

The Smalligan quotes are funny, but he delivered one of my favorite "picks" ever...

Payback

 

[oceantide83]