Guys,
We appreciate the great job you have done with your teams this year and it is absolutely fantastic that the BiG has two teams in the Final Four, but enough is enough. We are going to have to ask you to step aside and let the best team to ever set foot on a basketball court and the man who invented basketball at Duke to play in the final game. CBS wants it, the ESPN talking heads want it and gosh darn it, America (and every cell phone company in America) deserves it. We have reached out to our consultant, Mr. Vince McMahon and we really aren't sure at this time whether the NBA, uh SEC representative Kentucky or the warm and fuzzy, down home goodness, don't we all wish our kid could be coached by Coach K, giant killers Blue Devils should prevail. We do know that it is highly possible that Bill Raferty could have a stroke and keel over right on the spot at about the 3:00 mark of the second quarter from stress and imitating Dick Vitale. By golly, if we could somehow revive Jim Valvano this would be a perfect broadcast, we can't do that can we? But, I digress.......
We wish you well in your future endeavors and hope to see you at a future Final Four tournament, but this game is more important than either of you two can handle and we just don't need to see you on Monday night screwing up our Nielsen's. By the way, uh, we reviewed some tape at the NCAA offices and Valentine, you just got a technical foul for the way your shoes have been tied and Kaminsky already has two fouls due to a couple of missed calls in the Georgia game last week. We thought it only fair to level the playing field for this weeks games.
Dr. Mark A. Emmert
NCAA Bunker
Indianapolis, Indiana
We appreciate the great job you have done with your teams this year and it is absolutely fantastic that the BiG has two teams in the Final Four, but enough is enough. We are going to have to ask you to step aside and let the best team to ever set foot on a basketball court and the man who invented basketball at Duke to play in the final game. CBS wants it, the ESPN talking heads want it and gosh darn it, America (and every cell phone company in America) deserves it. We have reached out to our consultant, Mr. Vince McMahon and we really aren't sure at this time whether the NBA, uh SEC representative Kentucky or the warm and fuzzy, down home goodness, don't we all wish our kid could be coached by Coach K, giant killers Blue Devils should prevail. We do know that it is highly possible that Bill Raferty could have a stroke and keel over right on the spot at about the 3:00 mark of the second quarter from stress and imitating Dick Vitale. By golly, if we could somehow revive Jim Valvano this would be a perfect broadcast, we can't do that can we? But, I digress.......
We wish you well in your future endeavors and hope to see you at a future Final Four tournament, but this game is more important than either of you two can handle and we just don't need to see you on Monday night screwing up our Nielsen's. By the way, uh, we reviewed some tape at the NCAA offices and Valentine, you just got a technical foul for the way your shoes have been tied and Kaminsky already has two fouls due to a couple of missed calls in the Georgia game last week. We thought it only fair to level the playing field for this weeks games.
Dr. Mark A. Emmert
NCAA Bunker
Indianapolis, Indiana
